Resources for Relationships

Have you ever noticed that every relationship you have gives you an opportunity to experience a very different side of yourself? For example: The pieces of my personality that I get to experience in my most intimate relationship, like the part of me that is sensual and vulnerable, aren’t appropriate parts of my own persona to explore within my workplace. (Obviously.) By the same token, I don’t get to experience myself as an expert in giving subcutaneous injections, as part of my trusted relationship with patients, outside of my healthcare workplace (a fact for which all of my social friends are grateful). And sometimes, it feels as if a relationship only exists to give me an opportunity to practice my patience (like my relationship with the BMV clerk). Ultimately, I need all of these relationships in order to truly experience the whole of who I am: a combination of diverse strengths, skills and emotions. When we are missing opportunities to experience our best selves, or pieces of our best selves, we feel a void.

Because my relationships are so varied in nature, the resources I’ve used to strengthen my relationships have had to be equally varied. Improving basic, technical skills associated with your job can inspire the trust of your clients. Outside of that, however, is a vast world of information, new ideas, and reminders for how to communicate and relate to yourself and others in a way that strengthens your relationship bonds. Below is a list of some of the sources I use regularly, along with others that have made a definite impact on how I treat people, and how I allow myself to be treated.

1. My Favorite Website:  www.Ted.com: TED is an organization that finds “Ideas Worth Spreading.” The site contains videos from TED conferences, where some of the greatest thinkers of our time have presented ideas and concepts related to things as technical as nuclear energy and as basic as saying, “Thank you.”, Laura Trice and Benjamin Zanderand.

2. Blogs I Follow: Guidance, Growth and Grace, by MaryAnne Banich, which explores our relationship with ourselves and the world around us, at Guidance Growth and Grace.

And Monte King’s blog, “Just a Thought,” which is often focused on our relationships with others and the Divine, at Monte King Counseling.

3. Books I Recommend: John C. Maxwell with Jim Dornan, "Becoming a Person of Influence", which is a brilliant text about interacting positively with others. And "Mutant Message Down Under", by Marlo Morgan, which is a striking, true story (and quick read) about our individual relationship with the world and humankind. Also, The Holy Bible. Let’s face it: nothing describes the best and worst parts of any relationship better than The Bible.

There must be thousands of books written every year that address relationships in some form or another. I’ve read a lot of them and will continue to do so, but these three are the ones from which I continue to gain insight. I have found that I cannot apply every suggestion at once, so I choose the things I can change, immediately, to make the most positive impact on my relationships with others, then I re-read these books from time to time to get something else I can use. I hope you find these resources as helpful, or at least intriguing, as I have. Enjoy your Relationships!   

---