Last week, I continued working on the little renovations in my house. I’d been putting off replacing my light switches, because, although I had watched someone do it and it seemed simple enough, I had really never done it. I know about things I have never done. They can be difficult, stressful, or just plain irritating. 

I’ve now replaced about 14 of my light switches, because I wanted them to be white instead of almond. Sure enough, absolutely nothing went exactly right. Oops… lost a screw down the sink. Great… the replacement screws on the next one aren’t quite long enough. Oh, brother… the new white switch plate isn’t as big as the almond one, and doesn’t cover the old paint. Really?... now the cordless drill needs re-charged.

Every switch I replaced came with its own new, little aggravation. Nothing really stopped me, but every little irritation came with some trip back downstairs or out to the shed. I couldn’t help but wonder
which of these little annoyances I might have avoided, if I had been an experienced electrician (or even a slightly experienced handyman, um… person).

For the things I do well every day, I know where to expect annoyances, and most of the time, I know how to avoid them. Leave the house at 6:15, because if you wait until 6:30 to leave, there’s too much traffic. Wear gloves when pulling weeds, or your fingernails won’t come clean for a week. Put your coffee cup on the right, front corner of your desk, not the left middle. For the things I do not do regularly, however, I have no such radar for knowing how to prepare, what to expect, or what to avoid, and so I am subject to irritation. 

That, I suppose, is one of the reasons we value experience. It’s why we are willing to hire people who have more experience, and why we tend to limit ourselves and our lives to what we know best. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, until it becomes our own version of a rut, limits our creativity, or hinders our ability to grow our own confidence.

Sure I was annoyed because I wasn’t perfectly efficient at replacing my  switches. However, now that it’s done, I kind of like the fact I did it myself. So now, I wonder what other little things I might be able to do that seem intimidating, or like they might be frustrating, or that I feel may be just beyond my current level of enthusiasm. I truly believe that, if I were to try them anyway, I would be rewarded with the joy of breaking out of my routine if nothing else, and quite possibly, I could discover a new skill, pastime, or
reason to be proud of my own tenacity.

So, what is it for you? Is there something you’ve been putting off? Something you’ve always wanted to try but just haven’t gotten that final push? Something you are certain you would not be at all good at doing but wish that you could be? I invite you to just go for it!

Yes, you may feel silly at first. Yes, you might be dreading it. Yes, you might feel annoyed, clumsy or frustrated. And yes, I am confident that, having gone through whatever it is, you will find pride in having braved something new, enlightenment from the learning, and joy. After all a full life, by definition, needs experiences. 

I encourage you to ask yourself: are you living a life full of fun, love, and joy? If the answer to that question is anything like, “Well, I would be, if only ______________,” then I want you to dispel the myth that you need to wait for something or someone to change before reveling in the pure joy of living. 

Your life can be exactly the way you want it, if you will focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want. Multiple people have said it in a myriad of ways over time, and here are just a few examples of that truth being spoken:

(Hear this 1974 Motown Favorite, here.)

Consistent thoughts of, “…lust, greed and poverty will bring you to ruin.” – Bob Grant, Counselor
The Law of Attraction: positive or negative actions produce corresponding results. 
Self-fulfilling Prophecy: a prediction that causes itself to become true, due to positive feedback between belief and behavior.
 “Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” – Galatians 6:7  
“Ask, and it shall be given to you.” – Luke 11:9

If a few quotes and definitions aren’t enough to garner your buy-in, consider scientific proof. Robert Rosenthal, for example, explored the effects of a teacher’s expectations of students or the effects expectation has on random studies when research biases occur. (Read the Info).

There are all kinds of social, scientific and personal reasons, that expectation brings results. Whatever host of complex reasons, however, it’s clear that disciplining the mind to expect wonderful things to happen and the mouth to verbalize faith in that expectation, brings positive results time and
again. But when you don’t feel that positive expectation, how do you make expectation work for you? The simple work of expectation is this: Think it, speak it, own it, and it shall be.

For whatever troubles you this week, start expecting something better by thinking and speaking to yourself and others. For example:

 “I have a beautiful, healthy body.”
 “I am very successful in my career.”
 “My husband is warm and affectionate.”
 
Add to that statement any slightest, tiniest indication of it, in order to strengthen your ownership of it. 
 
“I have a beautiful, healthy body, and I know that because my eyes are clear and bright, today.” 
“I am very successful in my career, and I know that because I received a call from a new client, today.”
 “My husband is warm and affectionate, and I know that because he went to work to provide for us, today.”
 
Ignore the skeptic that would have you thinking, speaking and owning what you don’t want, and start creating the life you do want. Tell me something good, people. Then expect it!

First, when I started writing songs, and now, as I try to write blogs and such, I look for ways to eliminate “writer’s block.” It occurs to me, however, that we don’t have to be writers to get blocked. We meet blocks when we’re trying to work or having fun at home. We live with blocks to being able to see how to get from where we are to the life we really want to be living. We get blocked from being able to be disciplined, or from our ability to be carefree. We stumble against blocks to having the most loving, fulfilling relationships we crave. Something, like when I’m trying to write, just gets buried, out of reach, under some fog or blanket of who-knows-what, and it’s difficult to rescue it. Could we, when something is blocking us from living joyfully, unblock ourselves
like writers do?

Over the years, I have found multiple sources for dissolving writer’s block. One source says to freeform write. This strategy works as a way to clear the mind of chatter, so that the more valuable thoughts have space to form. Another source says to block out a specific time of day and discipline oneself to write anything for an hour, not caring whether or not it’s useful. The point with this strategy is about making time. You may not write anything valuable just because you show-up, but you will never write anything valuable if you don’t show-up. Other ideas include running, or taking a shower, because they both are presumed to ground the writer, somehow, while allowing for the distractions of activity to take the pressure off of writing, thereby releasing creativity. (Have you ever thought of something only after you stopped focusing on it? This is the same principle.)

What each of these strategies have in common is the loose, flowing manner of thought they are trying to provoke. Thoughts, in order to remain fluid and dynamic, should be allowed to live with no judgment, no editing, no critique, no perfectionism. Could we, somehow, use these concepts of releasing writer’s block to free us of all of the blocks we experience in the other areas of our lives?

In his book, “Drive,” Daniel Pink discusses how corporations have used varying combination of each of those strategies to encourage creativity in their employees, and the results have been happier, more loyal employees and bigger ideas than ever. “Post It” notes and Google Mail are just a few such ideas that
came from encouraging open, breathable space for employees, for example, void of expectation. What if we gave open, breathable space to our relationships, to our dreams, to our own job obligations? What if we quit demanding that every intervention meet immediate and measurable results? Could we just do for the sake of doing, just show-up, just scribble a free flow of places we want to see and why, without worrying about where we are going or how to get  there?

Of course, this requires a certain ability to balance. Just as we cannot live our dreams if we don’t allow ourselves the space to dream, we also cannot live them if all we do is dream without taking action. However, in those times when everything is blocked, when every turn is met with resistance, when
even our own inner-skeptic is saying we cannot, should not or will not, these are the times we need to remove the blocks. We need to freeform write. We need to allow ourselves to be distracted. We need to just show-up and trust that results will come in due time. Only then, when the block is gone, will we be able to truly make progress, again.