Nazi leaders used it to inspire and mobilize a downtrodden
nation. J.F. Kennedy used it to restore our faith in America. Individuals, every day, use it to manipulate, encourage, slander, or praise the people closest to them. As the only animal endowed with the ability to master verbal language, man has been both blessed and cursed with the immense power of speech throughout all of the ages. I wonder sometimes if we have any idea how powerful we actually are, as a result of it.


Florence Scovel-Shinn published a book, “Your Word is Your Wand,”
in 1928, which acknowledged and emphasized the immense power of the spoken word,
stating, “So, man has the power to change an unhappy condition by waving over it
the wand of his word. In the place of sorrow appears joy, in the place of
sickness appears health, in the place of lack appears plenty…” 

Naturally, the spoken word has the opposite power as well. Take,
for example, the very sad story I heard this week about a woman who may have
died of a sudden, (stress, not plaque induced) heart attack. At last report, she
was in the intensive care unit, not responding. Immediately before the attack,
her husband was yelling at her, cursing her, telling her she was stupid and
worthless and that he wished she was not with him. Instantly, he received his
spoken wish. 

Whether the words, themselves, stopped her heart or if the words
caused the stress, and the stress then stopped her heart, ultimately, the words
came first. Do you see how powerful words can be? Let’s make certain, at least,
that we are speaking in such a way that has some chance
of producing the responses we want.  
 
It is one thing to recognize that a situation is not to our liking and, therefore,
begin to identify ways to correct it. It is quite another to invent and imagine negative
outcomes and speak of them as if they are real. It’s not only that words have the
power to shape a child’s self-esteem, or to encourage in times of hopelessness.
It is also that words define our reality for us. If you state, for example, that you are “not a
morning person,” you give yourself permission to be inconsiderate of others
until noon, fulfilling your own prophecy.  If you say, “this project will never
work,” you will look for the failure points and emphasize them in order to prove
that you are correct, whether you realize you are doing that or not. 
 
As it turns out, the childhood retort, “Sticks and stones will
break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” just isn’t true. Be careful of
your words, this week. Ask yourself, “If I were to receive this (whatever I’m
speaking) wish, would it be what I really want?” If the answer is no, change
your words. Stop complaining. Speak kindly to others. Speak encouraging words to
yourself. And have a lovely and powerful week. 


  

I often talk in my seminars about how we use the phrase, “…but I don’t have the money,” as an excuse for not living our perfect dream life, more often than we really should. “I would quit my job, if I didn’t need the money…” or “I would go to Italy, but I don’t have the money…” or “I would go back to school, if I only had the money…” Sound familiar? The worst part about this is that this kind of thinking actually puts money in charge of our dreams, and takes the power completely away from us. I submit to you that rarely in our lives is there an actual lack of money, and that what we are more likely to lack is the creativity, the relationships, or the “want to,” to really go for what we think we want.

When you consider your finances, please remember that money is just dirty, little pieces of paper that we have all agreed to trade for things we really want. However, don’t you have other things of value you could trade? Essentially, we have completely lost track of the fact that we live within a barter system. Our financial brains don’t even process that way, anymore. But what if they did? What if you looked at all of the things that you have to offer, and started offering them? What could you get in return?

Consider someone whose dream it is to be a chef, but who doesn’t, “have the money,” to chase that dream. Since groceries are one of the expenses everyone has, how about this: Find a working mother/wife who would love to have dinner on the table when she gets home. Combine both people’s grocery lists, so that, for the price of a few extra groceries, the mother could avoid the store and the cooking, while the would-be chef shops and cooks for her. The chef gets to live his/her dream and have groceries in the house, and the wife/mother gets to live her dream of having dinner on the table when she gets home. It doesn’t replace the need for that job that earns a living, but it’s a start.   

This is just one thought for you. I hope you can imagine how it might play out in your world with your dreams. While I’ve bartered things like tutoring other students in nursing courses in exchange for credit hours from the college, and painting walls  in exchange for the supplies I needed to repair my own home, I’m not oblivious to the fact that some things just demand the cash. I haven’t yet found a way to barter with the electric company, for example. Therefore, I’ve listed, below, a few of the resources I’ve used to help me improve my relationship with money, so that I can be better at saving and budgeting.  

Author of “Finish Rich,” (click here) David Bach has investigated "The Latte Factor," which includes his incredible, eye-opening quiz. You may be sitting on a gold mine, and not even realize it.

One of the most popular and successful money gurus? Dave Ramsey, of course! (click here)  After all, who better to tell you how to get out from under debt and looming bankruptcy than someone who has been there?

And the classic, “Rich Dad , Poor Dad,” by Robert Kiyosaki is a must read, if you really want to understand how to make and keep money around you. You can find this book used, on Amazon, for just a couple of dollars.    

Think about bartering, and think about how to take more control of your own financial picture. Before you know it, you will be controlling your finances instead of letting your finances dictate to you.

“Home is where the heart is.”

The sentiment is an old one, first penned by Pliny the Elder (23-79 A.D.). It’s not difficult to imagine that he, a naval commander of the Roman Empire, may have been longing to feel safe and loved, just as we do now. However, while I freely acknowledge and celebrate that any location filled with the comfort of friends and family can make a person feel “at home,” I also believe that the physical structure of your Home plays its own part in comforting your heart. As physical beings, our surroundings, though material in nature, can have a profound effect on our ability to remain in contact with our joy. How much ambient noise there is, how soft or hard the flooring, how fluffy the pillows, how open the kitchen, how light the rooms… all of these things count toward making our Home part of the best life we can imagine.

Can you define what “captures your heart” or makes you comfortable in a home? Unfortunately, some of us spend time wishing for bigger houses without really giving any thought to what makes a Home comfortable to us. This week, I want to offer you some resources for making your house more “Homey.”

First: Decide what you like and what says, “Home,” to you. What pieces do you already have that you will never live without? What artwork, dishes, or home-made pieces make you smile, every time you see or touch them? Walk around your current house. Take your time looking around. Pay attention to the place you naturally spend the most time. What do you like about that space? What do you not like?

Next: Consult the experts. There are some pretty simple “rules,” about what feels good to most people in the way of positioning furniture, setting your lighting, etc. www.interiorholic.com is a favorite website for rules and inspiration. When in doubt, contact a decorator. You don’t have to be rich to have a consultation. Experienced, trained decorators can walk into a room and almost immediately see what it needs to feel warmer, more livable, or more “user-friendly.” At $85-$150 per hour, having them come into your home and give you some ideas of how to achieve your “homey feeling” is a lot cheaper than buying the wrong couch. Just set the timer, so you can stay within your budget, and take lots of notes.

After That: Rearrange, paint or shop, as needed. I like to browse the big furniture stores and then check www.craigslist.com to see if I can any favorite items cheaper. Also, don’t forget your discount stores like Ross, Marshall’s, or TJ Maxx. I have found some of the most fabulous pieces for a little bit of nothing at these places. And, if you’re contemplating a large purchase, be patient and wait for a sale.

Finally: Live in your Home. There is something about food on the stove and in the refrigerator that makes your house feel different. Invite people over. Sit on your furniture and read or visit. It wasn’t until I invited people over to the apartment I live in now that I realized I was missing some important pieces. I didn’t have adequate seating, and I didn’t have anything, like the throw pillows I like so much, that felt welcoming. As it turns out, I needed those things as much for myself as for my company. And finally, nearly a year after moving-in, I recognize my apartment as my Home. Why? Because now it is what I expect a home to be: a welcoming environment for me and my friends.

 Have fun, and enjoy your Home!

I got my mom an iPod for her birthday. I think it’s a great solution for her. She loves music, but continues to buy entire CD’s for one, favorite song. Then, she has to ask her tech-savvy friends to burn those “one songs,” onto some sort of compilation disc, so she can have those songs in her car. I figure, if I can help her set it up, the iPod is going to be her very favorite gift of all time. Music. What better gift than music for a woman who still does The Pony in her own living room?

This was my hope. As soon as I got the gadget into my car, however, I started second guessing. Actually, there was a point at which I could picture myself handing her the neatly wrapped package and saying, “Happy birthday, Mom. This year, I got you a giant argument between you and me,” because I suspected my mom might look at the tiny music player with the confusing selection wheel, and immediately get discouraged. If she did, then no matter how easy I tried to make it sound, she would set her jaw and say, “I can’t use that thing.” To which I would respond, “Yes, you can! See? It’s easy!” She would pretend to look, but not hear a word of my instruction, if that happened. Gosh. I could only hope she didn’t get discouraged before we began.

Now, you might be thinking, “Why would you give your mother a gift she’s going to hate?” And my answer would be, “Because after she gets done hating it, I know she’s going to love it!” How do I know this? Because I am my mother. And I hate change, and new ideas, and feeling like I don’t understand. I want to know how to do everything, and be really good at it, before anyone sees me struggling. (It’s one of the reasons I don’t take Zumba classes. I hate to be the one flailing in the back row.) At the same time, however, I know, from past experience, that if I just stop resisting things, if I stop pushing and rushing and trying to get to the end, if I stop hating the situation or process, it won’t be long before I love it.

I had a nursing school instructor inform me that her entire intention was to keep me off balance, challenge me, and push me, and that, if I didn’t feel uncomfortable, she couldn’t teach me everything I needed to know. She said I would hate learning, but that I would love nursing. As soon as she explained that she expected me to feel incapable and clueless, the discomfort was, somehow, easier to manage. I had been given the faith I needed to trust that the sick feeling I got for being flung around the “learning curve” would end. And after it ended, I would have the benefit of relief, new knowledge, and experience. And I would be free, only then, to enjoy applying what I had learned.

So, this week, I want to ask you if you are resisting, fighting back, or closing your mind to something new and uncomfortable. Not everything uncomfortable is something that should be avoided. In fact, more often than not, it’s something that could, if given the chance, be something you love. I hope my mom sees it that way. You know? I really should learn to do The Pony with her in her living room, or take a Zumba class when I get back to Nashville… Even if I have to flail a little, at first.

Well, this was the week of the first Living in Joy Seminar and Workshop. Of course, I have to take a minute in my blog to thank everyone who came, and everyone who, though they were not able to attend, wished me well in my first attempt to live one of my life-visions. I am truly overwhelmed at the support and encouragement that I received throughout the entire process! You are all such a blessing to me, it's no wonder I live a life in touch with my joy!

I have to admit, though, that completing this workshop it wasn't easy for me. In fact, there were a couple of times that I wished I had not given myself so much time between when I announced the seminar and the actual date of the event. I was trying to be a very thoughtful planner, but during that time span, I nearly cancelled three times, thinking that I would reschedule the date for a time when I would be more prepared. The truth is I was never going to be more prepared than I was on Wednesday. Not because I was so perfectly ready, or because I had every resource I thought I might need, or even because I had so many people attending. I would never be more prepared, because I am a Jumper.

There are people who are Waders, and people who are Jumpers. Waders walk toward the water, assessing, preparing, taking off their shoes and rolling up their pant legs. They are looking for stingrays and jellyfish, and anything else that might be a threat. They have a towel with them and have secured their valuables on land. When they put their toes in the water, they are fairly well assured that they will be able to play and splash and enjoy in peace. They are brilliant, in my estimation, and very often have the most pleasant wading experiences. I sometimes wish I was a Wader.

But I am not. I have the most difficult time making it into the water using this method. I get distracted by the idea of stopping for ice cream, or imagining there are sharks just out of my line of site. I think maybe I should wait until I'm wearing shorts... or better yet, a swim suit. I might touch my toes to the water and decide it’s too cold, or worry about what to do after my feet are wet and I’m walking to the car, sand sticking to them all the way. Given the chance to think, there are so many reasons to quit! If I expect to make it into the water, I have to run as fast as I can and jump off the end of the pier. I’ll figure out the rest once I’m in the water. 

I don't think there is anything wrong with being either a Wader or a Jumper, and none of us are able to assess for another which method is best. The world is full of Waders who have been talked into jumping. Had they planned, they might have been very successful and happy in the journey. Instead, they nearly drown, because Waders who jump don't adapt well and never really recover. On the other hand, there are also plenty of Jumpers who have been cautioned to wade. Jumpers who wade, get stuck in the planning, in all the reasons not to do something, virtually paralyzed by fears, and never move forward.

So, I ask you, today...  Are you a Wader or a Jumper? There’s nothing wrong with planning every detail, provided you continue to move forward. If you get stuck in the planning, however, that’s a sure sign you are a Jumper who is trying to be a Wader. The only cure for that is to set aside your excuses, which you’ve cleverly disguised as reasons why you can’t, and just go for it. Don’t worry. Jumpers are experts at adjusting.

To all of my first-ever seminar attendees: thank you for letting me, the Jumper, finally quit talking about what I want to do, wading around in the ideas and planning stages, and just jump.

And to all Jumpers trying to be Waders: just jump in, the water’s fine!

The Law of Attraction states that positive thoughts and words bring about positive results, and negative thoughts and words bring about negative results. I am not entirely convinced of this Law, in that I don’t believe that I can cause a plane to crash by imagining it in a fiery ball falling out of the sky. Still, I have noticed that when I focus my own attitude on positive outcomes and what I want to achieve instead of negative outcomes and what I fear might happen, I have better results.
 
Case in point… My air conditioner was not keeping up last week. In the 100 degree Tennessee heat, my apartment would not cool below 80, and the air conditioner was running 24/7. Unaware that it is, apparently, unreasonable to expect an AC unit to cool inside air more than 20 degrees below outside temperature, I was convinced my AC was broken. My maintenance man assured me the unit was fine, which only served to frustrate me.

“I might as well go home and roast,” I would say. “My air conditioner is broken.” Sure enough, I was too hot, and my air conditioner seemed to not work. Even in the early morning hours, when the outside temperature was cooler, I would get up and look at my thermostat thinking, “I don’t care what my maintenance man says. This thing is broken.” And my thermostat would say the house was 78, instead of the 74 I was trying to achieve. I was so negative, and irritated, and frustrated, that I couldn’t even be nice to my maintenance man, though he had been quick to check my AC for anything he could fix.

Want to know what happened, next? My water heater broke.  

It made me laugh. “Of course my water heater broke,” I thought. “I’ve been doing nothing but complaining about how things around here don’t work. My focus on the negative couldn’t help but bring more negativity.”

I don’t know what would have happened if I hadn’t found my sense of humor. Maybe they wouldn’t have been able to fix the water heater the very next day, or maybe the temperature outside wouldn’t have cooled enough to allow my AC to work, again, or maybe I would have gone out to find that my car wouldn’t start, because “when it rains, it pours.” Or, maybe everything would have been fixed the next day, just like it was. What I do know is that finding my sense of humor allowed me to sleep more peacefully than when I was aggravated, and that I felt better the next day chuckling at the irony of a hot house and a cold shower than I had felt the day before, grumbling at the ineptitude of my AC condenser.

Whether thinking positively actually has an effect on the world around me, or just on my own perspective, I can definitely say that thinking positively brings about more positive results for me than being negative. If that’s the essence of the Law of Attraction at work, then I believe it. And just in case it also works to “bring about what we talk about,” the way the metaphysicists say it does, I’m going to quit complaining about looking old and getting fat.