Unusual Attitudes

My dear friends have a son who has been learning to fly a plane. It’s been exciting to hear about his progress, as he has gone from first time behind the wheel, to first night flight, and now to training on how to recover from a spin or other potentially deadly mishap. Apparently, they call this particular training, “recovering from unusual attitudes,” where an “attitude”, in this context, means how the plane is positioned, relative to the horizon. Anything not parallel to the ground and upright is a problem that needs to be resolved, and the quicker and more calmly a pilot can figure out how to recover, the better.
 
But what about the more traditional context in which we use the word, “attitude?” And how often do we, in our daily lives, find ourselves needing to recover quickly and calmly from “unusual attitudes”, whether our own or someone else’s? One visit to social media, one newscast, even one conversation in line at the grocery can surprise us when someone’s attitude, position on a topic, or response to us can seem so off-line that we feel the need to recover.
 
One of the things pilots are taught about recovering from unusual attitudes is that it doesn’t matter, in that second, how you got there. In that moment, the most important thing is recovery. It's like this in for nurses too… if your leg is bleeding from an artery, I don’t need to know why just yet. First, I need to stop the bleeding. Grab the tourniquet. Later, we can discuss why being in the woods alone and using a chainsaw may not be the best decision.
 
When your relationships are threatened by “unusual attitudes,” do you work to recover them, prioritizing that in the moment? Do you right the plane that is your relationship, thus protecting it first? Or do you start trying to figure out what went wrong by blaming or accusing, or something else? 
 
Pilots may give us some insight here, too. Apparently, the first step to recovery is to back-off the throttle… reduce power to idle. When someone brings their off-attitude posture to me, can I find a way to just take a breath (reduce my power to idle) and see a soul opposite me? Can I start with something as simple as, “I hear you…”, instead of “What’s your problem?!” And when I am the one who has the unusual attitude, can I immediately say, “I’m sorry… that came out wrong?” Even if we don’t actually say these phrases, it’s our internal position that can make the difference in whether or not we stay in line with our horizon.
 
Sure. Maybe that person is misinformed or oversensitive, but they are also a human soul, just trying to make sense of the world. Maybe that checkout person is rude, but they are also just another person trying to make things work (and apparently struggling with that, today).
 
The level of awareness it takes to recognize an “unusual attitude” and reduce to idle feels like discipline, to me. I’m not always good with a disciplined approach to my world, especially in the moment. But I can start with a practice of remaining aware when I’m not aligned with the horizon, take a deep breath and idle.

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